Welcome to this blog! This is the first of many posts. In this blog you will learn to be a better you. We don't want to change you, simply make you the best version of yourself. There will be a new post every Monday. If you would like to hear this as a podcast, you can listen on all stores (Spotify etc.) Just write : MindU or click here In this post you will already learn something. I personally hate when you have to read like 2 pages to find a little advice that almost never changes anything. How do we become more positive? What is it to be positive? Let me tell you a little story to explain it all. 20 years ago I was out walking and I was not in a good mood.
I thought everything was falling apart for me. I recently learned that my girlfriend was cheating on me. She didn't know that I knew, so I was walking and planning how to tell her that I would break up with her. I broke up with her 3 days after my walk. I was mad the whole time. I found myself still being mad after like 3 years. I didn't trust any woman, so I did not get any female visits or anything in 3 years. This was eating me up, day in and day out. One day I sat down and watched how I was beginning to act. I was alone, I was cruel to women, and lost my ability to talk to women. I was more lazy than ever before, I even stopped showering. I was thinking, “Who cares anyway? The women can go F themself!” It took me another year to realise I was on a bad track. How did I realise? Glad you asked! At first I didn't even know it was the breakup that was the course of me being so mad all the time! I sat down one day, (Actually a really rainy day) and i thought to myself “This sucks. Life sucks. Why is this? Can I do something to change this for myself?” I was trying to see where it did go wrong in my life. I tracked it back to the break up. This was a shock for me. Did I just use 4 years of being mad, because I was hurt? Wonna know why this was so big of a shock for me? This was my thought. If another person can influence how i'm living, how i'm thinking, how i eat, drink, sleep, feel etc, just by doing a single action, how is the rest of my life gonna be? How can it be that other people can decide how I have to feel and live my life? Think about it! How many times have you hated driving a car, just because someone else is driving as Sh*t? How many times have you been mad just because the weather was not as you expected it to be? When you start thinking about it, there are always things around us, trying to influence how we feel. This thought was really implanted deep in my brain now. Everything was clear now, i could really see how much of an ass i have been, and then blaming my bad behaviour on another person. It was not because she was cheating on me, I was mad, i was mad because i reacted really badly in a situation. Of Course it was wrong of her to cheat on me. By no means that was okay, but I could have thought this way istead. “I deserve better than someone cheating on me. Nothing against her, there probably was a reason why she was cheating. I don't know, but I know that I deserve better than that” This one thought could have saved me for like 4 years of being mad and being a nonsocial creep. After I had this realization I kept thinking. Maybe I can use this mindset in another situation? hmm. Maybe, just maybe it would work? At the time I didn't know, but I was determined to try it. The next day I found myself in a situation where I was close to being really mad again. Instead of being mad I thought “I deserve better than being mad on this silly thing” IT WORKT! I gave myself a little smile because I was talking to myself, and carried on the day. I can't even remember why I was triggered, but I know that if I did not have reacted this way, I probably still would have been a little bit mad at whatever it was. I know it was a long and maybe confusing story of my life, but trust me, just keep reading. There are no bad or good situations. Only how we respond to them. I will just let that sink into your brain. There are no bad or good situations, only how we respond to them. We humans have the privilege to have a very smart brain. But sometimes it's also our downfall. Sometimes our brain can trick us to behave in mysterious ways. Sometimes it can make us wide awake, though we are really tired. To illustrate how much power our brain has, let me give you an example. We can always see our own nose, but our brain decides to hide this. Try it yourself! Look down at your nose, even when you just think about it, you can see it a little bit without looking directly at it. Our brain can determine if we are sad, happy, hungry etc. Our brain can tell us “You have to be mad, because you just saw someone driving real bad!” And we follow this instruction, without even knowing. If I say that we can control how we feel, by telling our brain how we would like to feel, would you believe me? This is actually how it works. Our subconscious constantly tells us how and why to react in certain situations. The epic part is, it's programmable! You have done this your whole life without knowing. What makes a subconscious is what happens to us, and how we respond. It's not easy, and it will take time, but if you train enough, you can get a subconscious that always reacts positively and rarely reacts in a mad fashion. Here is how to do it. From now on, everytime something happens to you, think “How should I react to this, to become the person I want to be? What would Oprah have done?” This is called “The Mirror training”. It's really simple, but really effective! To be a better person, find someone you like and want to be like, and start being like that person! Start thinking the way you think this person thinks, start walking the way he does, start having the same principles as him. Mirror the person's good sides that you like. When you do this, you will not only feel more like a winner, but you will program your subconscious to send more happiness to you. The goal here is not to be like the person you chose, simply to have a guideline from someone who is not yourself, and with time you will develop the best version of YOU. Also a very important side note to this; This is not like a “Think and archive” methode. You will have to do something actively. You cannot trick your brain into being a more positive version, you have to show it, by choosing to be it. If you just think about it and do mind games, nothing will happen. If you think “I'm the king of the world!” and laying all day, eating chips and watching netflix, your subconscious will know that it's just a wish and not something to act on. Let me share with you how I did this. The exercise is pretty simple. Step 1. You will have to get a Todo list on your phone. (I will explain why it's a good idea) Step 2. Write goals for the next 2 days. What do you want to do? What would you like to obtain tomorrow? Start small. Go easy on yourself, otherwise you will burn out. Maybe a goal could be “Go for a walk” or “Listen to a podcast about being happy” or wash the dishes. Step 3. Go do the goals you set. Step 4. Everytime you run into a situation where you are being mad, take 5 seconds to think “How would ---- have reacted to this?” And then smile. Even if it's a fake smile, your body will notice that you reacted positively. This will make you happier. That's it! The reason why making a todo list is good, is because then you will give yourself a great guideline. You will also give yourself the great feeling you get, when you mark one of the goals as done. At first it will be a little hard to do this, but with time it will be easier and easier. After 1-3 month of doing this, you will see your goals getting bigger and even more daily goals are introduced. Let's sum it all up. It's up to you, how you feel. Be conscious about how and why you react in situations. There are no bad or good situations, just how you react to them. Your subconscious is programmable. Program it to be more positive, so you can act like the person you want to be. Do the exercise every day, no excuses. Thanks for reading, I really hope you can use this in your life, and be a more positive and loving person. This is only part 1 on this subject, so there will be more about being more positive. If you would like to hear this as a podcast, you now can on all stores (Spotify etc.) Just write : MindU or Click Here If you have any suggestion on how i can do a better job writing this, or maybe a topic suggestion write to a comment! Next episode will be about Goal setting. You can use that in your exercise, so make sure to follow this blog, so you know when that's going to drop! Thanks, and have a nice day!
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